All I really wanted to do this morning was to get it over with. So I hit the call button on my cell phone to dial the doctor's office and schedule my oh-so-very-dreaded colonoscopy appointment. You'll notice I said the doctor's office and not my doctor's office. That's because I'm still not claiming Doctor D. as my own doctor. I'm pretty sure I don't like him. Pretty sure.
Anyway, I called and got transferred to the correct department for scheduling such procedures, and the mental picture I had of how this whole thing was gonna go down was slowly knocked down piece by piece. For whatever reason, it's the mental pictures that make the dreaded thing okay in my mind. It's a way of psyching myself up to do it. The reason I had a mental picture is because Rich has already been through this twice at Dr. D.'s office, so I pretty much knew what to expect. Or so I thought....
Apparently things change. The procedure will be done across the street at another clinic and not at the doctor's office, like Rich's was. They used to do the procedure at the doctor's office because Dr. D. has several specialists that work for him, but that's not how they do it now. That other office will call me later to confirm the appointment and give me the list of all the fun stuff I get to swallow for the pre-procedure. As of right now, I am tentatively scheduled for July 24.
After I hung up the phone I realized that going to another clinic to have the procedure done might be an issue. See, if it's done at the doctor's office, all my insurance requires me to pay is a co-pay, as if it's an office visit. That may not be the case if I go to the other clinic, and they'll charge me for the procedure. So now I'm wondering how much this is going to cost. We can afford a co-pay but not the normal cost of that procedure.
I didn't want to have to be concerned today with the where and how and how much of the thing. All I wanted to do was make an appointment, try to forget about it until July 24th, and then just go get it over with. Now it isn't so cut and dried. Why is it that when I finally break down and try to make the appointment, I STILL don't feel settled?
Life is so complicated, isn't it?