I decided I better write at this moment while I have the will and the "voice". It's just a thought for the day.
The Lord gave me Psalm 57:1 this morning, so I memorized it. Hopefully, I will continue to go back to it often as I need the reminder, walking through the challenge I'm facing.
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by. (NKJV)
I'm still in the storm, even calamities as they're described in this verse, but I think my heart is finally settling down. At least I'm able to hear God's voice more clearly over the din of my wrong thoughts.
I've been of the mind to protect myself from anyone or anything hurting me, and I go so quickly to that mode. I'm finally relinquishing that to Him, though. God says He will be my Protector, my Shield, my Defender, and I believe He will do that better for me than I can do it for myself. So rather than be self-protective, I'm going to be prayerful. It's something I had forgotten was the most important thing.