Love: An Action, Not a Feeling (repost)

While I'm away at camp, please enjoy these selected posts a second time around.

Originally posted on November 14, 2008

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I've been thinking a lot about relationships, about both my successes and failures in them.  I've been asking myself what has made successful relationships and what have I done that's made a mess of them.  I can never get very far from these questions.  I think it's because God won't let me ignore them.  He is very much about communication and relationships.

Maybe I appear quite congenial on my blog, but I have blown lots of relationships.  Some have been mended.  Some are in process.  Others need attention.  And unfortunately, others may be lost until Heaven.  I've had to face personal responsibility for what I've lacked, which was love.

What is love?  For me, love is an affectionate feeling I have for somebody, a tenderness, a compassion.  The Bible defines love as an action and not a feeling, and I've had a difficult time embracing that.  I want it to be a feeling, yet at the same time, I know my feelings fail me.  Or rather, my feelings fail others.

I've had to face that reality in the last month.  My feelings have failed.  I've found myself grasping onto something, demanding my own way in my heart, only to find it conflicting with what someone else needed.  Someone precious to me.  I can't have my own way and still try to promote what's best for them at the same time.  Why?  Because my love is fleshly and not godly.  My love is more often about what I get from the person, than what I am giving to them.

As I opened my Bible a couple weeks ago to 1 Corinthians 13 to be reminded what godly love is, I saw how I have failed at all of these attributes.  I decided it would help if I wrote out each quality with my name inserted because I am to demonstrate each of them in my relationships.  This is how it looks:

• Liz suffers long
• Liz is kind
• Liz does not envy (others)
• Liz does not parade herself (before others)
• Liz is not puffed up (about who she is or what she does)
• Liz does not behave rudely (toward others)
• Liz does not seek her own (way)
• Liz is not provoked (by others)
• Liz thinks no evil (of others)
• Liz does not rejoice in iniquity
• Liz rejoices in the truth
• Liz bears all things
• Liz believes all things (in others)
• Liz hopes all things (for others)
• Liz endures all things (for others)

Those are not feelings.  Those are choices of my will.  My natural man is unkind, envies, seeks its own way, and is very easily provoked....because of feelings.  The spiritual man ignores feelings and chooses to do what God says.

As I've read over my list the last few mornings, my prayer has been that God will create this love in my life because I haven't got it.  I imagine how much freedom would come to a person who loves like that.

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Compassion In Action

Do you read Amy Beth's blog, Ministry So Fabulous?  She is a young woman of 25, and her great, big heart amazes me.  I read her post today, and I'm just {sigh}... I don't know... silenced.  Struck with awe.

I am sorely lacking in compassion.  I could learn a few things from Amy Beth.

Read her post about The Diving Board here, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

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Why I Love My Husband

I'm not one to get all mushy on Valentine's Day or any day, for that matter.  But I always see other bloggers bragging on their men, so this seems like an appropriate time for me to do that too.

Ten (Random) Reasons Why I Love My Husband:

1. He isn't afraid of housework.
2. He takes my dog out at night, so I don't have to go outside in my jammies.
3. He always knows when I'm too pooped to cook and orders a pizza instead.
4. He knows how to research and shop around for the best deal when making a new purchase.
5. He works hard at his job and does it well.
6. He reads my blog regularly.
7. He has always taken an interest in my hobbies and collections.
8. The guy brushes my hair!  (So relaxing)
9. He lets me be me.
10. After 13 3/4 years of marriage, he still loves me.  That's what you call longsuffering.

Love: An Action, Not a Feeling

I've been thinking a lot about relationships, about both my successes and failures in them.  I've been asking myself what has made successful relationships and what have I done that's made a mess of them.  I can never get very far from these questions.  I think it's because God won't let me ignore them.  He is very much about communication and relationships.

Maybe I appear quite congenial on my blog, but I have blown lots of relationships.  Some have been mended.  Some are in process.  Others need attention.  And unfortunately, others may be lost until Heaven.  I've had to face personal responsibility for what I've lacked, which was love.

What is love?  For me, love is an affectionate feeling I have for somebody, a tenderness, a compassion.  The Bible defines love as an action and not a feeling, and I've had a difficult time embracing that.  I want it to be a feeling, yet at the same time, I know my feelings fail me.  Or rather, my feelings fail others.

I've had to face that reality in the last month.  My feelings have failed.  I've found myself grasping onto something, demanding my own way in my heart, only to find it conflicting with what someone else needed.  Someone precious to me.  I can't have my own way and still try to promote what's best for them at the same time.  Why?  Because my love is fleshly and not godly.  My love is more often about what I get from the person, than what I am giving to them.

As I opened my Bible a couple weeks ago to 1 Corinthians 13 to be reminded what godly love is, I saw how I have failed at all of these attributes.  I decided it would help if I wrote out each quality with my name inserted because I am to demonstrate each of them in my relationships.  This is how it looks:

• Liz suffers long
• Liz is kind
• Liz does not envy (others)
• Liz does not parade herself (before others)
• Liz is not puffed up (about who she is or what she does)
• Liz does not behave rudely (toward others)
• Liz does not seek her own (way)
• Liz is not provoked (by others)
• Liz thinks no evil (of others)
• Liz does not rejoice in iniquity
• Liz rejoices in the truth
• Liz bears all things
• Liz believes all things (in others)
• Liz hopes all things (for others)
• Liz endures all things (for others)

Those are not feelings.  Those are choices of my will.  My natural man is unkind, envies, seeks its own way, and is very easily provoked....because of feelings.  The spiritual man ignores feelings and chooses to do what God says.

As I've read over my list the last few mornings, my prayer has been that God will create this love in my life because I haven't got it.  I imagine how much freedom would come to a person who loves like that.

Don't forget the Got Talent? carnival is November 21, a week from today.  Can't wait to see if anyone has got talent out there.

God's Love

After a recent heart-to-heart with a friend, God opened my eyes to the way I've disregarded His love for me for a long time.  That's not to say that I didn't believe God loved me.  I think it's that I didn't acknowledge His love for me in a way that it influenced the way I responded to things happening around me, as if I just didn't take His love to heart.  It's really easy to believe something in your head and not embrace it in your heart. There's a difference.

When God spoke of His love to my heart last week, He did it repeatedly.  It would come to mind many times through the day, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  I've been praying that He will help me see His love demonstrated throughout the day and that it would become my greatest comfort.  He's surprised me in the various ways He's been doing that.  One such act of love was pretty amazing, so I have to tell you this story. 

Before I took my vacation in August there was a small matter at the church office that I should've taken care of.  Our phone business plan contract was ending, which meant our long distance cost was going to go up.  Well, let's face it.  I'm lazy, and I didn't want to call the phone company to talk about a plan.  I ignored the notice, and I figured, How much can it really increase?  It's not going to be that expensive.  It'll be fine. 

Shows how much I know.  When we got the bill in September I just about fell off my swivel chair.  It was almost double.  DOUBLE.  Uh-oh!  E-LIZ-A-BETH, what have you done?  (That's how my mother would address me when I was in trouble, so I guess that's how I rebuke myself in my own head.)  I dialed the phone company, hoping there was an error on their part because letting our business plan expire could not POSSIBLY have been the reason for such a hike.

Unfortunately, the increase was most undoubtedly due to my negligence.  Yeah, it made THAT big of a difference.  So the nice man found me a new plan and got it set up pretty quickly, in fact, quick enough that I wondered why it ever would've been such a big deal to have called in the first place when I was supposed to.  Live and learn.  Someday I might.

You're probably wondering by now where the love of God comes through in this story.  Well, I'm getting to that.  The other day I was opening mail, and the next phone bill had come.  I was sure that our new plan hadn't kicked in by the time this billing would've already been started, so I expected another high bill.  Do you know what?  It was $25.25.  Yes, that was twenty-five dollars and 25 cents, in case you didn't think you read that correctly.  They had credited our bill for the previous amount. 

That credit was just for me, not the church, but for me - a demonstration of God's love.  Nobody else knew about the bill.  Just me (and the Lord).  It filled me with such gratitude to know He loved me that much.  Isn't His mercy so great, that He would provide something that I did not deserve?  He corrected my wrong.  What love!

That's only one example.  I could go on, but this post will become too long if I did that. 

When was the last time you acknowledged God's love for you?  Do you see see it daily, or do you take it for granted?  Watch for it.  He'll amaze you.

Ephesians 3:16-19... that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height-- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  (NKJV)

My Valentine's Gift

I realized after February 14th passed that I never showed you what Rich gave me for Valentine's Day. He did get me candy, some Dove truffles. He also got me this ...

A Starbucks Mug!

What a guy!

Things I Love Right Now

Musings of a Housewife is asking bloggers about the things they love right now. So here's my list in random order:

1. Watching my dog Dixie romp through the snow in the morning (It's up to her neck!)



2. Being able to stick to my First Place live-it plan and shed some pounds



3. Starting a new year of reading through the Bible



4. Being able to do in the spiritual what is impossible in the natural



5. Blogging



6. Being with my best friend



7. Reading fiction



8. Fresh baked bread made in my new bread maker

I'm sure there are other things I'll think of once I hit "publish," but this is what is first on my mind at this moment.

A Love Affair Revisited!

Hoo, buddy! Did I have a special surprise this morning. Everything happened as any other typical day in my life this morning. I managed to get out the door a little early in order to go grab a Starbucks as I headed to the church. I had raspberry mocha on my brain... nonfat, of course.

But as I entered the store and rounded the corner I saw that everything had changed. My eyes were met by an array of red and green. YES!!!! The Starbucks menu has changed for Christmas! You may think, "What's the big deal?" But to me, suddenly all was right with the world at that moment. I can now order a Peppermint Mocha at the special price. It's on the menu! Sure, I could order that year-round, but I've been saving it up for the Christmas season because it's all part of the holiday experience. Once January rolls out of here, I will refrain from ordering until next year. So I'm savoring the beauty of this day as it marks the first Peppermint Mocha of the season, and I have included a picture of this momentous occasion.

I adore the Peppermint Mocha. There is nothing else like it in the whole world. It is a tantalizing, perfect blend of chocolate and peppermint mingled together to create a beverage like none other. (sigh) I need a moment.....

Okay.

I first fell in love with this Starbucks creation last Christmas season. I happened to stop over at some friends' house, and they were headed out to have some coffee. So I tagged along, and they introduced me to the phenomenon that is Starbucks. I had never been. It wasn't a real high priority on my list, and I wasn't even sure I would like it. I am very picky about my coffee, and I have never liked flavored coffees. Well, since we were there, I figured, "I've got to fit in. I better order something and choke it down just to be sociable." I chose Peppermint Mocha because a friend had mentioned that it was really, really good, so I figured it sounded like it might be okay. I got my mocha and sat down with my friends. I took a drink... it was love at first sip! From that moment on through the entire conversation, it was as if it was just me and my Peppermint Mocha. I don't even remember what we talked about. All I remember was the Mocha.

So that's how it all began. By the way, I got so excited over it this morning that I forgot to order nonfat. Oops!