Some of you have been asking about my key-note address at the luncheon last Saturday, and I thank those who were praying for me. I thought I'd take a few minutes and let you know how it went.
The entire experience, from the time I accepted the speaking opportunity until this Sunday after church, was completely overwhelming. When I was able to step back and finally process all of it, I saw God in it from start to finish.
You have to understand what has been going on in my life behind the scenes for months. I'm going through a very difficult trial that is a total roller coaster ride of emotions. In the midst of this, I was working to write notes on being grateful in all circumstances, especially in times of trial. Talk about being put to the test.
One day I shared with a friend that it felt as if I had nothing to give. I was feeling so spiritually and emotionally weak. And then I followed up with the statement, "but I guess that's how it should be." If I was strong and capable in the whole thing, then I wouldn't need God and it certainly wouldn't be His key-note address. Little did I realize that I was about to experience God's grace like never before.
On Saturday I felt excited and positive, but as the morning wore on, the feeling turned to apprehension and nerves. Lunch seemed to drag on. I just wanted to start speaking. The anticipation was almost more than I could bear.
I kept thinking about all the people who said they were praying for me. I knew I had some cheerleaders out there, and they were pulling for me. I'm not sure anyone knew it, but I was near tears by the time the ladies were eating dessert. I can honestly say that's the first time I didn't give a HOOT about cupcakes. {giggling}
When it was just about time to return to the sanctuary for the speaking portion, one of the deacons who was there as part of the program asked if he could pray with me. I was surprised but so grateful that someone was sensing the need.
I was introduced. I walked to the podium. I got my notes, Bible and materials situated, and then I began to talk. And just like that, all the nerves melted away, and I spoke freely and boldly.
That in itself was enough for me. For more than four weeks I had kept wondering how I was actually going to do this while bearing the heavy weight of my trial, but He poured His grace out on me and helped me every step of the way.
Oh, but there's more.
One by one, ladies came to me and told me how God had used the things I said to convict them. One lady said it had completed some thoughts for her that she had been just discussing earlier in the morning. She added that, "God really knows what He's doing." Other ladies said they really needed to hear what I had to say.
It was all God. I know it was all Him because I truly felt like I had nothing to give as I compiled my notes. I couldn't imagine what He would do with the words that I had written down.
I was overwhelmed, and all I could do was bow at His feet. Thank You, Lord, for abundant grace.
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