Uh Oh... She's Back!

I'll be open and honest here.  I'm having emotional food issues. 

You know what I'm referring to, don't you?  It's when you eat junk food because you believe it will somehow take away the emotional low you are experiencing.  This is something that I had overcome months ago, but it has made a comeback in the last couple of weeks.

Did I ever tell you about being tagged The Donut Girl?  This nickname was attached to me over a year ago when I shared a story in my First Place Bible study about my weakness for donuts.  They had been my nemesis to weight loss.  I could smell them way in the back of the grocer's dairy department, even when the bakery department was a mile away.  Yes, it was that bad.  So one of the ladies in my study tagged me The Donut Girl.  But I had overcome that.

Well, The Donut Girl?  She's back.  With a vengeance.

I have to drive past a grocery store almost every time I go out.  Do you know what I think about as I drive by?  Donuts!  I don't even buy donuts at that store, but I know that's where they can be purchased.  And I want one.  It's a good thing I'm just lazy enough that I don't want to go to the trouble of parking my car, walking into the store, and buying one on my way to wherever I'm going.

Oh, what a mess I am.

A Fresh Look at a Psalm

The memory verse that I need to memorize for this week's First Place study is Psalm 139:13-14. It's a pretty familiar verse to me, as I've read it innumerable times.

When Judy teaches she will sometimes read a verse in the Amplified version to convey the deeper meaning of a scripture, but we often kid about how LONG a scripture is in the AMP. Teasingly, I mentioned that I would memorize all the verses in the AMP from now on, just to be an overachiever.

Seriously, though, I decided it would surely help me grasp the fuller meaning of a scripture, especially if I'm memorizing familiar verses that I might not give much thought to due to their familiarity. So that's what I did.

This week's psalm is amazing. It's long, but its words convey to me so much more than what I read in a King James or New King James Version. I love it!

For you did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are your works, and that my inner self knows right well.

We Had Our Cake, And We Ate It Too

I told you that I would let you know how the weigh-in went at First Place on Saturday.  It was good.  It was REALLY good.  There was laughter and hugging, it was so good.  I lost more than 2 pounds.  Kind of a jaw dropper for me.

Oh and then...I think I gained back the 2 pounds at a surprise party that afternoon.  Yep!  I mean, that was not the intention, but we ate at an Italian restaurant.  What's a girl to do when surrounded by so much pasta?!?

I ordered Shrimp Ravioli, otherwise known as Rhapsody Of Pasta Heaven!  (Can you hear the angels singing?)  It was the most delicious Italian dish I have ever eaten, with cheese ravioli smothered in a roasted red pepper, basil and Romano cheese sauce, not to mention the shrimp.  I love shrimp.  Did I mention DELICIOUS?

I promise that it was the first real indulgence I've partaken of in 4 weeks, and honestly I did not go crazy wild with the bread, appetizers or salad.  I mean, I still have SOME self-control. 

But then this came to the table....

        

{Ahem.}

Yes, that's birthday cake.  (Yes, it's Lightning McQueen.)

That was probably the funniest part of the meal.  The waitress took the cake to the kitchen and sliced it for us, but I'm not sure what she was thinking.  She sliced the entire cake for the number of people at the table - NINE!  Yes, NINE PIECES!  Do you know how huge they were?  About 4" x 6".  We all laughed as the plates were set in front of us, especially because half of us are watching our weight, and we each proceeded to cut our pieces in half.

Thank goodness, the waitress also provided take-home containers for the HALF none of us could eat.  Everyone was taking their leftover piece home for the husbands.  I didn't have to ask Rich twice to eat his.  He snatched that cake right up after dinner.

I doubt I'll be seeing any cake in the near future, but I'll definitely be seeing a lot of my treadmill this week.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider subscribing to my feed.

This Weight Loss Thing... It's a Process

The week has flown.  So much going on that there's hardly been time to think about a blog.  So we're finally together again.  Would it be okay if I talked a little about my weight loss process?  Thanks.

Today completes four weeks of filling out my food fact sheet, exercising 3-4 times a week, and reining in my calorie consumption.  Tomorrow I face another weigh-in, and I'm slightly nervous.

Last week I maintained.  Honestly, that was a disappointment.  (I'm just being real.)  I had to repeat over and over to myself, "It's not about the number.  It's not about the number.  It's not about the number!"  Oooh, such hard words to believe.

It's a battle to keep the focus on getting healthy to please the Lord and for becoming self-controlled, rather than focusing entirely on making the number on the scale go down week by week.  I know sometime in the middle of last week I began to lose my focus and found myself wanting to creep onto the scale a few times during the week... just to see what the number was looking like.  This week the desire for a shrinking number grew even more.

Another fight has gotten harder this week, and that was with the treadmill.  Although I have found that a good audiobook really helps keep me distracted (I'm listening to a book by Terri Blackstock), getting motivated to even step onto the treadmill has started to become an uphill battle.

I just couldn't get on it Wednesday, but Thursday I was able to talk myself into it.  Probably because that weigh-in is looming in the distance.  Would you laugh if I told you I yawned for about the first 15 minutes?  Uh... something is wrong with this picture.

And then what's with the whole renewed energy thing?  Where is it?  Rather than feeling energized after walking, I am pooped.  Seriously.  Should I be concerned?  Is my body chemistry in correct working order?  This one still has me puzzled.  It's been a month, and I'm still waiting for the extra energy to kick in.

So this is life as I know it right now, or at least a part of it.  I'll have to let you know my results on Saturday.

One more thing before I go.  I want to testify that God does care about our food choices and our desires to stay within boundaries, and He has been very faithful during these four weeks to help me stay on track.  The other day I was invited to eat a lovely meal with friends, but I knew I did not want to compromise my boundaries.  So I talked to the Lord about it that morning and asked Him to provide some sort of dessert that I could enjoy at that meal.  Much to my joy, there were some no sugar added desserts, and I ate my banana cream pie with thankfulness.  I know it was a gift from Him.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider subscribing to my feed.

Now We're Getting Somewhere

Do you remember what I do on Saturdays?  Probably not, so I'll refresh your memory.  It's the day I go to my First Place Bible study.  Yeah... that.

So, you know how last week I had to really get myself back on board with the plan of being self-disciplined and choosing with my will to eat good stuff?  Well, that's exactly what I did. 

For the past week I've written down on my fact sheet/food diary all the food I ate, even when I went out to restaurants.  This week I will start counting the actual exchanges and tallying my bread, meat, milk, veggie, fruit and fat servings. 

Uh oh...I forgot about the 8 glasses of water a day.  Hmmm...can I ease into that, too?  I'm really into Vanilla Coke Zero right now, which leaves very little room for water.  I guess I still have a couple kinks to work out with my diet plan. 

On a final note, I'm pleased to report that it made a difference to rein in my appetite last week.  I lost about 1.5 pounds.  Now that's a step in the right direction.

"Weighing" In

Has anyone noticed how there's never a mention anymore of my treadmill, my stellar eating habits, or an exuberant proclamation of my most recent weight loss goal being met?  Oh, no?  That would be because I haven't stepped one toe onto that treadmill since October (at least I think it was October), and my eating has consisted of cookies and chocolate for snacks... and weight loss???  Um... we're gonna have to call it weight gain.

{sigh}

Yeah, I fell off the First Place wagon big time.  Before you go feeling all sorry for me because it was the holidays, after all, I just can't blame the holidays.

I only have myself to blame.  It all started when I made an allowance here and then one there.  Next thing I knew, I didn't care anymore that I was eating sugar cookies and cupcakes at the carry-in dinners at church.  I didn't care that I had to have just one more piece of birthday cake at my niece's party.  It was a party, after all, and it was a big cake that needed to be eaten or it would go to waste.  Shouldn't the goal be that a good time was had by all, which means eating as many baked goods as one can, so that they feel really good and had fun?

Well, not so fast, girl.  Let's think about this.  If I've learned anything in the last year, it's that discipline is good for me in ALL departments - physical, spiritual, mental and emotional.  And I'm not just spitting out a First Place mantra here, okay?  I've seen it worked out practically in my life.  I just forgot.  I'm really good about forgetting.  You too?

The Christian life is all about discipline, that I will be sober minded, focused, able to discern the will of God.  The baked goods have been weighing me down, becoming cumbersome, so much that I lost my focus and continued to make allowances.  I forgot that being healthy is a choice of my will, not waiting for a special feeling that would make me stop dead in my tracks and drop that cake right into the trash can.  Yeah, like THAT'S gonna happen!

So I'm back at it again, as of Saturday, making the choice with my will.  I'm taking small steps by writing down everything I've eaten on my fact sheet and making good food choices.  Since you all know now, I guess I better stay with it.

Accountability: 5 days done!

I did it!  Today I completed the last day of my personal 5-day treadmill challenge.  After not feeling so well yesterday I wasn't sure what would happen this afternoon.  No problem, though.  I walked for 16 minutes and ran for 14. 

Tomorrow, bright and early, is First Place and the weigh-in.  I'm always nervous about it when I know I've put in extra effort or successfully escaped many food temptations through the week, unsure as to whether it will result in a loss.  I really want a loss.  BADLY.  I always have to keep my feelings in check, though, because I've been told numerous times it's not about the number.  It's about your heart.  Eventually, I'll "get it."

You're welcome to keep track of my progress here on my blog, over there in the sidebar to the right.  I have a Traineo button up that tells how much weight I have left to lose.  {But if you thought it would display my actual weight, you must be out of your mind!}  I'll be updating it tomorrow afternoon when I learn what my weight is.

Oh...by the way...guess I'll be heading over to Sephora to pick up the lip gloss that I perspired my little heart out for.  I'll bet you thought I forgot.  {wink}

Accountability

I thought it would be good to stay accountable here and let you know I'm still on track with my fitness goal this week.  I spent 25 minutes on the treadmill today, and I've stuck to my food boundaries and water intake.  Things are looking good.

A Small Incentive

I've been trying to lose weight since last November (at least officially), but it hasn't happened very fast.   Obviously, since this is October.  I still have the last 10 pounds to go, which will at least get me into my healthy weight bracket. 

But that little birthday I had?  Kinda got me off track.  I basically started excusing myself from eating well for the rest of the week, and I ended up gaining weight, or so that rotten-good-for-nothing scale told me this morning.  {sigh}

Saturday is gonna come quick, and I'd really like to avoid crying my eyes out when I have to weigh in at First Place.  I decided to kick it into gear and get back to work on this thing.  I've recorded all my foods today, I've already had 8 glasses of water, and I did the treadmill thing this afternoon - 15 minutes of running and 20 minutes of walking.  Would you believe I even got out my weights and did some upper body training?  Oh yes I did!

Since I know I am about as disciplined as a 5 year old, I thought maybe a small incentive might be in order.  I set a goal to exercise Monday through Friday this week, which I have never done before.  If I achieve the aforementioned goal, I will be getting my cute, little self right on over to the mall to buy myself a present.

Are you familiar with Philosophy?  I had heard of it but never experienced it in person, until I was at Sephora this weekend.  Their bath gels, lotions, and lip shines smell out of this world.  I found this Not the Pits Cherry Cola lip shine and started yearning for it.  It smells EXACTLY like cherry cola.  EXACTLY.

I just couldn't justify spending $12 for lip gloss.  I'm just not that hip and trendy and all makeup-y.  Ya know?  But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I fell madly in love right there in Sephora.

So...

If I keep my exercise commitment, I will be rewarding myself with this fabulous lip shine, even if I don't lose any weight.  (Although, a loss of 2 pounds would just be icing on the cake.)

Uh... maybe I shouldn't use food metaphors. {ahem}

Sugar Free and Loving It

Since I started my latest First Place session on a quest to lose a good 15 pounds, I've been in search of the perfect snacks to replace all the "bad" stuff. I love cookies, and I've been recently browsing the dreaded cookie aisle on trips to the grocery store in hopes of finding something that will fit into my "live-it" plan (as opposed to a "die-t" - get it?). I found a few products, whose nutritional numbers aren't too bad.

Then yesterday I ran into Walgreens to pick up some milk and lunchmeat and happened to turn around and browse their snack selection, you know, just to see what kind of healthy low-fat snacks they had to offer a girl who is watching her waistline. Lo and behold they had Sugar Free Oreos! I have not seen these in my grocery store, so I don't know if they're new or if my store just doesn't carry them. I bought a box, of course. I mean, what else was I going to pair up with the milk I just bought?

I love them! You cannot tell that they are sugar free. Granted they are smaller than their sugar-filled counterpart and you only get two in a serving, but if you just need a little chocolate Oreo fix, this will do it. They're 100 calories with 5 g of fat. They even have 3 g of fiber. And don't you know that fiber is my friend.

But lest you get the idea in your head that you could consume say... half the box at one sitting... heed this warning. Excess consumption may have a laxative effect. Probably all that fiber. LOL! Consider yourself duly warned, and proceed to the nearest cookie aisle.

It's Been a Full Friday

I thought I would just tell you about my day. It's been a pretty full one, especially as I have marked a very important victory in my life. It's something I would like to share.

First, of course, I worked at the church office this morning until noon. Fridays are "iffy" because it's the day to publish Sunday's bulletin, and you just never know what might hit. It depends on the amount of phone calls that come in, if the pastor (that's Dad to me) gives me a last-minute project, or if there just happens to be a plethera of announcements that need to be put in the bulletin - all of these things factor into how easily Friday mornings will proceed. Today was a pretty easy day, but it became a cruncher there in the last hour. Last-minute things arose, and normally I could just stay a little late in order to complete them. Today, though, I needed to be out the door at noon.

That brings me to the next part of the day. I got to meet a friend for lunch, someone I only see about every couple of months. We have much in common, particularly our fastidious nature of organization. We're pretty much perfectionists, and we enjoy laughing at some of the crazy things that we think "have" to be perfect in our worlds. So we had a fun time catching up this afternoon.

Afterwards I went to Starbucks. Now before you get after me for indulging in my peppermint mocha and feeding my ungodly addiction, I'll have you know that I did some checking at Starbucks.com and found an acceptable beverage to "put on". (You know, the put off-put on principle of the Bible? If you're going to put off an ungodly behavior you need to replace it with a godly behavior. And yes, drinking is a spiritual thing.) I ordered a Short, Non-fat, Vanilla Creme, No whip - a.k.a. steamed milk with flavored syrup. It was the best thing I could find at 100 calories. It does have its flaw of 18g of sugar, but it's a much better choice than the 310 cal. peppermint mocha that has slowly resulted in my demise. So I was an overcomer today. I conquered that Starbucks beast. Woot!

(As a side note, have you heard this word "woot"? I just heard about it the other day on the news... something about how it is a new word that has been added to the dictionary. Its definition is like a victory cry in celebration. Hopefully, I am using it appropriately. I get tired of using the same old words like "cool" and "yay". )

Okay, now back to the rest of my day. I came home and made dinner, which was okay. Nothing spectacular. After that I finished up my First Place Bible study and then decided to run back out to try that Christmas shopping thing again.

This time I knew where to go and what I was getting. I got exactly what I needed, and I was really happy. Woot! (See, there it is again.) I even made an extra stop, and I found another Christmas item I had been looking for. I guess these things need to be done in phases, or so it seems.

So now I've been home and unwinding from the day. I've been reading blogs, but I'm not all caught up yet from all the afternoon posts. I see I have a few comments on mine, and that's always fun to see. Thanks, you guys!

Can't wait for tomorrow morning. It's time once again to attend First Place, and I get to do that weigh-in thing. I've already taken a peek at the scale today, and things are looking good.

That's all for today...