Do you know what happened yesterday? Well, how could you because I DIDN'T WRITE A POST. I realized it only after I had shut down my laptop for the night and was heading to bed. It's a wonder I could even fall asleep knowing I had skipped a day of my NaBloPoMo.
Anyways... I'm reading AmyBeth's post at Ministry So Fabulous this morning, and it's stories she shares like this that keep me coming back for more. She is hilarious! Since I can't manage to entertain quite like her, you must go read her post today.
I was browsing through my Facebook newsfeed last night and came across something my sister had posted. She was drinking her Diet Cherry Pepsi and kept wondering why it tasted horrible.
I don't know how the story was then divulged, but it seems she has a little chemist-in-the-making at her house. Either that, or he's just a goofball.
My nephew apparently thought it would be fun to make ice cubes out of hand sanitizer and Adidas cologne, rather than water.
I know that hand sanitizer can be deadly to children if they ingest it, but I don't know what effects it might have on an adult. My suggestion to her was that she should induce vomiting, just to be on the safe side. I don't think she appreciated that advice.
The only thing I ever liked about Halloween when I was a kid is that I got lots of candy. Dressing in a costume was sorta fun, but it was really all about the candy.
In all honesty, I have always been fearful of people in costumes. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? Forget about it! Our family had several shoe stores located at malls when I was young, and when I saw Santa walk past our storefront to go on his break, I would make sure I was waaaay at the back of the store, just in case he decided to come in to browse for a pair of shoes.
So you can see why Halloween would be all about the candy for me. It became more like a reward of survival for trudging out into the dark night with all those maniacal people who wanted to jump out and scare a poor, defenseless girl just to get a laugh.
In hearing the buzz around the blog community about Halloween movies and candy and parties, I remembered the scariest Halloween memory I have. Just to think of it now, it still ticks me off.
I don't remember how old I was. Maybe 12 or 13. I was probably in junior high at the time. Halloween was approaching, and for some reason our Baptist church put on a haunted house every year. (I really don't know why.) Anyways... while I was in band practice, a couple of people dressed like ghouls opened the classroom door and came in. They started wandering around the room and getting in people's faces as some sort of promotion to go out to the haunted house.
I don't recall how close one of those costumed people got to me, but I was utterly and thoroughly FREAKED OUT! I was actually angry. I felt angry at whoever let them come into the classroom. I was angry at my band director for not kicking them out for interrupting our band practice. I was stinkin' mad that our church even had a haunted house.
You have no idea what a relief it was when they finally discontinued putting on that haunted house. It's possible it was the very next year because I don't remember it after that time.
What's your scariest memory? Do costumes bother anyone else?
I'm starting to wonder if the Lord is trying to teach me something, or else I just can't explain something so fluke-like happening twice in a week. Do you remember last week when I showed you the damage that the post office had done to my book? It happened again. I am not kidding.
I ordered a study book for someone from the Amazon marketplace a couple weeks ago. I was anticipating receiving it any day, and it was with the mail this morning. I didn't know exactly what to expect because it is a used book, although the seller stated it was in very good condition with minimal underlining and shelf wear.
That's not quite what it looked like when I removed it from the package. The cover had been folded in several places. It was peeling in spots. There were pages totally folded up inside. I was so disappointed, and all I could think was, "How am I going to give this to my friend? It looks beat up."
The interesting part of all this is that I didn't realize the damage had been done by the post office. I just thought I had gotten a bum deal from the marketplace seller. But then I noticed a small slip of paper in the bottom of the package and pulled it out. After that, I realized that the label on the mailer had the United States Postal Service as the return address, and it had been stamped DAMAGED IN HANDLING IN THE POSTAL SERVICE. That's when it all became clear.
It began... We regret the damage to your mail that occurred during handling.... What?!? No, this just can't be. I laughed out loud at the irony of my love for pristine books and the adversity the post office has cruelly set upon me with its careless ways.
Oh, but my favorite part of the note -- and mind you, this is a generic printed note for such incidents -- says this,
We are constantly... striving to improve our processing methods to the extent that even a rare occurrence such as this one can be eliminated.
C'mon. You know you're laughing with me now. Rare occurrence? Twice in a week for me is not considered rare.
So I'm asking the question again... What's up with that?
I got this in an email yesterday, and I think it's pretty funny and very true.
WHY?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
It's Wednesday and another session with Linda and her Random Dozen. Does anyone see the irony in the fact that I have to display this picture of donuts on my blog every time I do this meme? Oh, Lid, if you only knew...
1. Ever had any run-ins with the "library police?"
I never had a librarian come after me, but I did have one get a little stern with me once. Many years ago my record showed that I had 2 books that had been overdue for something like a year. What didn't make sense was that they were books from the children's department. Something about science experiments, if I remember correctly. Well, I don't have children, so I'd have no need for checking out children's books. The librarian tried to pin it on me, and I continued to insist I don't check out kids' books. She finally gave up and marked it as lost in the system.
2. Do you have a special organizational plan and place for wrapping paper, gift bags, etc., or do you just purchase whatever you need as you give gifts?
Gift wrap organization? What's that? I basically put tubes of wrapping paper in a corner in the spare bedroom and keep a small tote with tissue paper and odds and ends. I never purchase the stuff ahead of time, though. I buy it as needed.
3. Have you ever been in (first-hand witness) a natural disaster?
No, I can't say that I have. It's amazing that I've lived in Indiana for 37 years and have never experienced a tornado. I've been nearby when some have come through and have seen high winds and green-colored sky, but I've never actually been in the middle of one.
4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?
Barry who???? Okay, I am sooo kidding. I do know who Barry Manilow is, but that's only because a long time ago my mom had all his records, which were played a lot at my house in the 70's. I was a kid.
I didn't actually know the title of my favorite song, but I knew what it sounded like. So I just went looking for it on YouTube and discovered it is called Weekend in New England. Oh, my heart, I love that song. I think it's the melody and the words combined in such a way that just tugs at my heart. If you need to see Barry perform this, here's the video for your own enjoyment. You know, I only provide quality entertainment here at the blog...
5. What's the best costume you've ever worn?
I'm going to take a lot of liberty with my answer. When I turned 7 my parents threw a surprise party for me and invited all my little schoolmate girlfriends. Although it wasn't a costume, per se, Mom had made me a skirt and bonnet out of a red calico that matched, and she made each of the girls matching bonnets to wear at the party, too. It was a Holly Hobby theme because I was really into her at the time.
6. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
I use the dictionary more. Usually I'm looking to see if a word means what I think it means. You know how you use a word for years, and then you go to use it in your blog and aren't even sure if you've been using it correctly? (Like for question #5 I had to look up "per se")
7. What's your favorite breakfast food?
I love granola.
8. Have you ever purchased anything from an infomercial?
I remember when I got my first credit card after entering college I saw this hair flip tool that would turn your ponytail inside out. I ordered it and used it about 5 times. I could never get my hair to look quite right.
9. Have you ever crawled through a window?
It's funny that Lid would ask this question because of my blog post of yesterday about my husband getting locked out of the house. I don't think I've ever had to crawl through a window.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, I don't. Infatuation, yes. Love, no.
11. How man pairs of jeans do you own?
I own 5 pairs of jeans that I wear. I have a couple others in my drawer that I've been holding onto for skinny Liz, but I haven't seen her in a long time. Sure wish she'd come back and wear her jeans already.
12. If someone were going to bake a cake to honor/represent you, what would it be? (Think creatively, like Duff and Crew on "Ace of Cakes.")
I think it would probably be a piano. That's what I think I'm most known for in church ministry because it's what I've been doing the longest. I think it would be cool if it had a bar of music floating out and into the air. Someone recently gave me a gift for playing at their daughter's wedding. It's a grand piano encased in a crystal cube, and the music is floating out the top of the piano. It's beautiful. This is a picture of it.
For more Random Dozen or to link up with your own, hop on over to Linda's 2nd Cup of Coffee.
The other day Rich was off work, and he was finally going to mow the lawn for the first time this spring. Our mower had died last season, and he had just purchased a rebuilt one and came home to tackle our overgrown lawn.
I was home for lunch, and then I left at 1:15 for an appointment. When I left he was busily using the blower to clean up all the grass clippings. I waved goodbye and left.
When I got home at 3:00 with a load of groceries, the yard was all finished, and Rich was relaxing in the living room. He greeted me with, "When you left, you locked me out of the house. It's a good thing I know my house."
Oopsy.
"I am sooo sorry! It's a habit. I leave the house, and I lock the door. What did you do?"
He then proceeded to explain that he knew we had a window that he could climb through to get onto the porch. He also knew we had another bedroom window that wasn't latched, so he climbed through that.
Wouldn't you know, our dog who barks like a maniac at everything that moves outside got quiet and ran to her crate as he was trying to "break into" the house. It's good to know we can count on her to alert us to strangers who might unlawfully enter our home. (By the way, all modes of entry have since been secured.)
That would all be fine and good if that were the end of the story. Oh, but wait. There's more!
A concerned neighbor happened to be watching Rich during this whole scene, and of course, as any concerned neighbor would do, they called the police. The police showed up at the house and wanted to see his I.D., which he gladly produced. He then went on to explain how I locked him out while he was doing yard work, and they laughed and went on their way.
Several weeks ago I mentioned that I may just have a love... no, an OBSESSION... for donuts. You can read that post here. After reading the donut obsession post that day, my friend Sherry decided to encourage me in my love for donuts by sending me a Hoops & YoYo video about donuts the next day. You can read that post here.
Not too long after that, Sherry showed up at church with a little gift bag for Yours Truly, and you'll never guess what was in it.
Are these not the most amazing donuts you have ever seen? She crocheted them!! Then she used puffy paint to create sprinkles and chocolate glaze that look real. The woman is an artist, I tell ya.
I am displaying them on the top of my bookcase. I thought they were so cute, I just had to share.
Be sure to come back Friday for my vlog when I answer another Chat Pack question. I think it'll be fun.
If you're on Facebook, you may have participated in one of those notes you're supposed to post about yourself and then tag 25 friends, passing on the Facebook notes annoyance love. So if you're one of those people, you will totally get a kick out of this video. It's hilarious!
25 THINGS I HATE ABOUT FACEBOOK
I think my biggest Facebook annoyance is that when you do comment on somebody's stuff, you get email notifications every time another person comments, as well. Sometimes I want to read the comments, but other times I don't care.
I agree with this guy about the ad bar, too. Some of them are gross to look at.
So leave me a comment and tell me which of these is your biggest Facebook annoyance. And hey, if you're not on Facebook yet, this might just be the thing that will keep you from joining. Yes, you should run away while you still can. Run far, far away.
Did you enjoy this post? Consider subscribing to my feed.
I am so disappointed that I did not get in on the I See What You're Saying carnival over at 2nd Cup of Coffee on Tuesday. I just didn't have time to get my own video recorded, although I tried. I have had webcam issues*. I love doing videos, so this would've been the perfect carnival for me to get involved in.
Well, even though I didn't get to make my own video, I have been checking out all the other videos that entered. You have GOT to go check them out for yourselves. They're HILARIOUS!
There wasn't a theme or anything. It was basically introducing yourself and talking about anything you wanted to. I didn't know there were so many funny bloggers out there...you know...besides Big Mama, Ministry So Fabulous, and Discovering Liz. {Oh, I jest! That's my blog. And I'm not that funny.}
So if you're ready to meet some new bloggers and laugh a lot, go over there right now and then tell me which one is your favorite. I have only seen a handful, but right now my favorite is His Girl's Blog.
*Webcam Issue - If anyone knows how to get the sound to record at the correct level on the Cyberlink Youcam software on my HP Pavilion dv2000, I'd be ever so grateful for the knowledge. It records muffled, no matter how high the volume is up. Stinky!
If you haven't met Amy Beth of Ministry So Fabulous yet, you are missing out on some funny stuff. You must go over and visit her blog today. I just happened across her blog a couple weeks ago, and she is a bright spot in my day. She is definitely on my list of favorite blog reads now, right up there with ohamanda! and BigMama. She is a crazy, sassy, single gal who runs a non-profit organization. All I can say is, you have got to love a woman who is not afraid to make a video of herself singing in the car. I totally want to do that, too!
I believe I may need to invest in a lifetime budget plan for chiropractic care because I FELL. AGAIN. Our front sidewalk is nothing but sheer ice. I was on my way out tonight, in the dark, watching carefully so as to avoid a spill. Well, it was next to impossible. I stepped gingerly down the two steps to the main sidewalk, and as I stepped out...down I went. I even lost my cellphone but didn't realize it until we started driving. We backed up and saw it lying there on the sidewalk. No damage to it, as far as I can tell. I wish I could say the same for my body... particularly my left gluteal proximity.
Tonight we were on our way home from church, and the girls we always give a ride to were chattering away in the backseat. They started talking about Valentine's Day. One gal said she hoped her mom would give her some chocolate. One of them was sharing that her mom had gotten her a Valentine's gift, something that she's wanted for FIVE YEARS. (She was very dramatic.) The other two asked her what she got. She said, I won't find out until tomorrow. So finally I asked, When is Valentine's Day? Is that tomorrow? Rich was like, Yeah!
Uuuuh...I thought it was Friday. Obviously I've really been paying attention. But the good thing is that I saw a commercial for Walgreens tonight, and they advertise they have everything I need for my valentine. I'm so glad there's one right on the corner across the street from where I work.
I got this in an email yesterday, and I think it's pretty funny and very true.
WHY?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
I'm feeling a bit miffed at a blog I read last week, and I've decided to sound off about it a little. I wish I could find the link to where I read this, but unfortunately I haven't been able to locate it again. The blogger is apparently a blog "expert", and he gave a list of 20 some things that you should not use on your blog to keep it clean, interesting, and cause readers to come back for more.
One comment he made, though, really set me off. He said something to the effect of ... A blog is not a personal diary. Nobody wants to hear about your daily life because that's not interesting.
I think that's just stinky! The definition of a blog, according to Webster's New Millennium Dictionary of English, is...
an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page
Seeing that a blog is defined as an "online diary", I'm not sure where said blogger gets off saying it's not a diary.
I personally find lots of personal blogs very entertaining. Most blogs I read are written by moms telling about life with their kids, and I don't even have kids. Yet I still find them interesting. You should see the list I've got going on My Yahoo, and I don't know any of these people personally. Yet I find myself watching for their latest posts, so I can go read them. In fact, I can hardly stand it if OhAmanda hasn't posted in more than 24 hours. (She's my favorite!)
As to why I find all of these strangers' lives interesting... that's still to be answered. Part of it has to do with the WAY they write. They're amusing! I also enjoy the spiritual aspects. I want to know what Christians out there are thinking and learning. I would also say that they help me learn to blog. I read about other people, and it jogs thoughts in my own mind. That aspect has helped me tremendously. So I guess you could say I read blogs to blog. Yeah.
So here are a couple of my favorites, just in case you might be looking for an entertaining blog to read.
Discovering Liz (That's mine. Did you think I would leave it off the list?)
You have to go read Dawn's blog today. She is a mom of 6 who lives in Chicago, and she's the writer of the "Because I Said So" blog. She's got some very funny stuff posted today. Made me laugh out loud. You have got to bookmark her website because her stuff is hysterical, and she usually writes every day.
